The 10 Mile Anxiety....

The 10 Mile Anxiety...

I am not sure what it was about the whole running 10 miles thing that scared me. Perhaps it was because, on some days, I feel like I can barely do 4 miles. Ever since I saw that 10 mile mark on the marathon training matrix, I had been dreading it, and wondering if I could do it without passing out on the side of the road. So...last Friday my day to run had finally come. I could barely breath I was so nervous about the impending goal ahead of me. 10 miles doesn't seem like a lot compared to 26.2 miles. But, it seems like a lot compared to my normal 4 miles I run during the week, and its even 4 more miles than my weekend 6 milers. The baby sitter came early...I laced up my Nike's carefully. I selected my Ipod song list carefully....as if Christina could save me now! And then....I just started. The weather was, can I just say....perfect. Its never perfect. But it is as if someone up there knew I needed the sun to be shining and a little breeze blowing gently. I ran...with no counting of miles, and no dreading of hills. I knew I had a lot of them, so why dread them. I took it slower than usual...didn't push myself too hard on the first 3 laps. People talk about a runners high...I seriously doubt I will ever get it. But on the 4th lap around, 8 miles into the run, I realized that I was actually going to complete my 10 mile run. On my last lap...I waved at the people sitting on the bench by the nursing home to let them know that they wouldn't see me again. The guy washing the police cars just looked at me like I was insane. The weird smell of a green house full of blooming petunias wafted in and out of my nose as I started up the big hill for the final time. And when I rounded the corner on to my road and started past the hospital and noticed that retarded kid who rides his bike on the sidewalk like a drunk monkey didn't even bother me. I just ran by him in the street...didn't even give him my normal evil glare. My hips were burning...I looked like a disaster covered in a slimy sweat. But I walked up the stairs to the apartment and still managed to carry on a semi-coherent conversation with the babysitter before she left. 10 miles....wasn't so bad. And if I could 10 miles. . . I can surely do more, right?